


Poe Dameron: Redemption

by idrilhadhafang



Series: Rapier Squadron [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Poe Dameron: Free Fall - Alex Segura
Genre: Age of Resistance Compliant, Atonement - Freeform, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, M/M, Near Death Experiences, Past Character Death, Poe Dameron Has Issues, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Post-Poe Dameron: Freefall, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Protective Ben Solo, Regrets, Tragedy, Trials
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:41:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28433337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Poe Dameron has returned from Kijimi after his Spice Runner escapades. When he has the opportunity to serve in Rapier Squadron, Poe takes it, all while the shadowy threat of the First Order lies on the horizon. Meanwhile, Poe’s feelings develop for his childhood friend, Ben, even as Ben starts down the path to self-destruction.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Rapier Squadron [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2082630
Kudos: 2
Collections: Bad Day Collection





	1. Belief

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: What’s this author’s idea of treating herself? Why, writing a fic bridging Freefall and Poe’s bit in Age of Resistance!
> 
> ...holy shit, this author is an overachiever.

The medbay. Even as Poe disembarked from the speeder, he couldn’t help but feel like his heart was hammering in his chest. The last time he’d seen his father, he had advised Lu’lo Lampar to take him onboard the shuttle and get him treatment. Images flashed in his mind, images of blood loss, of Poe’s own teenage arrogance and idiocy. 

He wanted to be a pilot, but at what cost, exactly? Was it worth losing his father?

It wasn’t. It just wasn’t. Even talking with the guard at the medbay, Poe couldn’t help but notice a familiar face. Pale. Freckled. Framed with black hair. 

Was that Ben?

Poe paused, shocked. He could still remember the gawky thirteen year old — the child — that he had left behind. Well, not quite. After all, Ben had gone off to his uncle’s Academy. Was supposed to be there. And yet he was here.

Ben...he’d gotten taller somehow. More muscled. 

How had that happened?

Poe spoke, just finding words. “You’re here.”

Ben ran to him in that moment, and Poe was all but crushed in his embrace. He buried his face in Ben’s robe, feeling like he was finally home. 

The guard cleared her throat. “Is everything okay?”

Ben and Poe broke apart. “That’s Ben,” Poe said. “Friend of mine.”

”Ah. I see. You’re both here to see Mr. Dameron?”

Poe nodded. “I’m his son. Ben’s just...my friend.”

Friend. Somehow that word had become more charged than he thought. Maybe it was just coming back from Kijimi. Seeing Ben again. 

The guard nodded. “Right this way, gentlemen.”

***

”I can’t believe you’re here.”

The way Ben sounded, it seemed like Poe’s very presence was a miracle. Poe wondered, absently, if Ben would feel the same way if he knew exactly why Kes was in medbay. 

“I know.” Poe’s voice trembled a bit, like it was on the edge of a vibroblade. Then, “It’s my fault. Papa,” and it struck him that he was regressing back to what he called Kes as a child, “Got hurt because of me. Because he wanted me to come back.”

”Don’t say that,” Ben said. “Don’t you dare say that. He chose to go after you. He loved you and believed in you.” A beat, like he wanted to say more. “Anyone would."

Poe swallowed. Of course Ben would say that. He of so much faith in Poe, even when Poe blatantly didn’t deserve it.

”Hey.” Ben squeezed his shoulder, and Poe wondered when exactly Ben’s hands had gotten so big. So strong. "I’m here for you. You’re not alone.”

Poe nodded. He didn’t deserve it. He could believe, though, that Ben believed it. 

***

”Hey, Poe,” Kes said, softly, even as Poe and Ben entered the medbay room. Even seeing his father hooked up to an IV, Poe was reminded, again, that he had done this. He had nearly gotten his own father killed. 

“Papa...” Poe said. That name again. That childlike regression. Because even though he was twenty-one now, he was still, inside, a child who still needed his dad. Maybe everyone was to some extent. 

Ben squeezed Poe’s shoulder again. It was more steadying than Poe deserved.

”It’s not your fault, little bird,” Kes said. “You were tricked.”

”I was sixteen. I wasn’t a child.”

”Technically you were,” Ben said. “And according to psychology, it’s considered emotional abuse to trick a minor into illegal activity.”

Poe stared at Ben in disbelief. “You’re seriously studying up on psychology and law to make me feel better?”

”Is there something wrong with that?” Ben said. “You’re my best friend.”

”Well, yeah, but...”

”They were adults,” Ben said. “Except for that girl. That’s what I heard. Except for that girl...they knew better. They tricked you.”

Poe sighed. “I’m still trying to come to terms with that, admittedly.”

”Ben’s smart,” Kes said lightly, “For a teenager.”

Ben arched a brow. “Are you seriously making fun of me while hooked up to an IV? Also, I’m right here.”

Kes smiled. "You’ll always be that little boy following around my son, Ben Solo.”

”I’m wounded,” Ben said lightly. 

Poe actually did laugh. It felt good, better than it had any right to be. 

***

Leia visited later. She and Han, too, forgave Poe. It was more than Poe deserved. 

Poe turned towards Leia. “Am I...under arrest for what I did?”

Leia sighed. “According to Republic law, considering your extenuating circumstances and the fact you attempted to save Sela Trune, not to mention trying not to kill your enemies...you have that on your side.”

”Right. That.” Poe ran a hand through his hair. 

“They’re still thinking you should face justice,” Leia said. 

“Are they insane?!” Ben exclaimed. “He was a child! He was manipulated! None of this was his fault. Is the New Republic resorting to blaming the victim now?”

Leia sighed. “Believe me, Ben, I don’t like it either. I’ve been looking for evidence; Amilyn’s helping, of course, she’s good at finding evidence. We’ve also been trying to shut down the slave trade on Kijimi.”

”Good,” Poe said. He could still remember seeing those slaves, and how sickening it had been, especially when Zorii had acted like that was the way things were. Was that her just being conditioned to accept the horror? Poe was at least glad not to be that. “Look, even if I end up in jail or at a mining colony — ”

”I’ll make the judge’s life hell if that’s the case,” Ben said. There was a certain flicker in his eyes that reminded Poe almost of the embers of a dying ship. Something that could be used to hurt, or to heal. 

He hoped it was to heal. 

“Ben,” Leia said. "We won’t do that. Best thing to do is avert it. Find allies, find evidence. Amilyn’s on Kijimi right now, finding what needs to be found.”

”Whoever this Amilyn is, she must know her stuff,” Poe said. 

Leia smiled. “Smartest woman I know. A bit odd...but the odd people tend to be the brilliant ones.”

***

After an extended talk with Kes, including Kes agreeing to testify in favor of his son when he was recovered, Ben and Poe left. Leia, surprise surprise, had Senate work to do. Han had some racing business. Things like that. 

“Won’t your uncle come looking for you?” Poe said. 

Ben laughed. “I’m eighteen. Him grounding me would be a little excessive, wouldn’t it?”

”I suppose.”

”We could go back,” Ben said. “Before the trial or after. Mourn Shara Bey properly.”

Poe swallowed. Now that he thought about it, that would work. He hadn’t gotten to mourn his mother properly in thirteen years. A woman who had inspired him so deeply, who he’d loved before he became a man. 

A woman Ben had loved as well, in his way. 

“I’d have to make sure Dad was okay with it,” Poe said. “I mean...I’ve disappointed him enough. Stars, I nearly got him killed. That’s bad enough, isn’t it?”

Ben squeezed Poe’s hand. Something about just that...Poe wasn’t worthy of that reassurance, but he got it anyway. Somehow, after all he’d done, he meant the galaxy to Ben. 

“I heard him,” Ben said. Poe knew what it meant. That thought-reading ability. Ben had expressed the occasional frustration with it, having a mind that seemed almost overloaded with people’s thoughts. It made Poe very glad not to be Force Sensitive. “He’s so proud of you, Poe. Even going out to Kijimi to find you...he loved you so much. He still does.”

Poe swallowed again. Stars, he wished he’d known sooner. Hadn’t taken his own father for granted. Hadn’t snapped at Lu’lo. So many regrets. 

“Hey,” Ben said. “It’s okay. It really is. I believe in you, Poe.”

Poe smiled faintly. “I believe you do, at least.”

They headed back towards the hangar, to their ships, Ben to the Grimtaash, Poe to the ship he’d taken from Kijimi. Poe didn’t know how he’d gotten so lucky to have people who loved him and believed in him — but he’d never take them for granted again. 


	2. Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben helps Poe get to sleep when he’s been having problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: I literally have no excuse for not updating for a while. I’m sorry!

In his nightmares, he failed to save Sela Trune, again and again. In his nightmares, he had to close her eyes. 

Even as Poe snapped awake, looking frantically around his room if only to reorient himself as to where he was (there were the photos of him and Ben when they were children, there were the pictures of Mama and Papa, everything), he found that despite the fact that sleep was bearing on him like a siren’s song, he didn’t want to go to sleep. Not again. He was already terrified of reliving the same image of Sela Trune bleeding out, again and again.

He hadn’t been able to save her. A woman who hated him, and he hadn’t been able to save her.

Some would call it illogical to be upset about it, but Poe was upset about it anyway.

He found that being alone wasn’t an option even as he called up Ben on the comm. a grumble through the comm, and then Ben answered. “You okay, Poe?”

Stars, Poe doubted he could have ever been more glad to see him. “Yeah. Just a bad dream.”

He didn’t miss the way Ben winced. “Oh. Bad dreams are awful. I’m sorry. You know,” and here, the eighteen year old looked like an idea had just struck him, "I can teach you. You need a teacher.”

”You can show me the ways of nightmare prevention?” Poe said lightly.

Ben laughed. “More like coping. But yeah, there’s even breathing exercises I can teach you.”

”That’s a good idea." Then, “You have nightmares?”

”All my life.”

”Oh.” How could Poe have forgotten, those occasional times Ben fell asleep in class and got taunted by other kids for having nightmares? Freak, they called him. Scaredy Benny. It was Poe’s exposure to the idea that some kids could just be plain mean. 

Poe continued. “How are they now?”

”Well, sometimes they’re weird. Like I watched this holo with Voe, Tai and Hennix and dreamed that I was the ruler of a planet of bugs...”

”Was that in the holo?”

”Yeah. Well, I wasn’t the ruler, but you get my point.”

Poe furrowed his brow. “What kind of holos do you guys watch?”

”Well, sometimes Uncle Luke puts on kiddie entertainment for Grogu.” Grogu had joined the Academy when Ben was a preteen. “His dad pretty much made it clear Uncle Luke better be taking care of him.”

”Don’t mess with a Mandalorian,” Poe said. 

Grogu’s father wasn’t his biological father, but he loved Grogu like he was his own. Poe admired it, the idea that a Mandalorian could be so protective of a Force Sensitive that was basically like a little green puppy. 

“But yeah,” Ben said. “Sometimes I see this man. Well, figure. He’s wearing a mask. Best I can say is that it looks like a discount Revan mask. And he's hurting you. And I can’t do anything to help you. I don’t want it to come true, Poe, that vision. I can’t.”

”Ben,” Poe said, “Even if it came true, it wouldn’t be your fault. Not in the slightest. You’ve gotta believe me on that.”

”I suppose. I couldn’t live with myself if I couldn’t protect you.”

”It’s not your job,” Poe said. 

"You’re my best friend. My first too. And I’m a Jedi." Ben swallowed as he spoke. “Compassion, which is basically unconditional love, is essential to a Jedi’s life. We’re encouraged to love. So...if I can’t protect someone I love, what good am I?"

Poe frowned. Was Ben trying to get at something? Then again, there was a part of him that didn’t know if he wanted to believe it. How could Ben love someone like him? Romantically or otherwise?

”You’re...plenty good, Ben,” Poe said. “You’re a wonderful man. Don’t doubt that.”

”I hope so.”

They talked more. They didn’t talk about the trial. They didn’t talk about Sela Trune. They didn’t talk about anything like that. They talked about holos, about what Ben’s life was like ever since Poe had skipped five years of his life. Five years. 

Poe didn’t expect to be gone that long. 

“I’m supposed to be facing the Trials at some point,” Ben said. “I won’t lie. I’m nervous. What if I fail?”

”What if you don’t?” Poe said. “You’ll do amazing things. I just know it."

”I hope so.” Ben ran a hand through his hair. "I just...worry sometimes. About being enough.”

”I think you are,” Poe said. “Really.”

Poe could have sworn that he saw a tug of a smile at the corner of Ben’s lips. “Thanks. Really.”

They talked. Talked until Poe swore that he was marginally comfortable enough to sleep again. Marginally, he thought. Then, “Ben...is it okay if I leave the console on? I’ve just been having some problems sleeping.”

Some problems. That was definitely a way to put it. 

“You can,” Ben said. “I’ll be there as long as you need me, Poe. Morning and night.”

Poe lay there, comforted by the sound of Ben flopping back onto his bed and sighing in relief. Poe smiled, just then, into his pillow before letting himself settle into a calmer-by-comparison sleep. 


	3. Calm Before The Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before the trial.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Weeks passed. Amilyn gathered evidence. Poe could swear that he felt the trial looming closer and closer, the chrono ticking down until then. And when it did come, it was heralded by a message from Ben over his comm.

”Okay, okay, I’m up!” Poe grumbled. “Sheesh, Ben...”

”The trial’s today,” Ben said. 

“Stars...” It was something that Poe was already intimidated by, the idea of setting foot in a courtroom and having to testify against his former comrades. If you could even call them that.

”Just breathe,” Ben said. “You can do this. I believe in you, and I support you. Lu’lo’s going to support you too. So is your dad, so are Mom and Dad. Really.”

Poe nodded. 

***

The ride to Hosnia Prime wasn’t an easy one. Amilyn, whoever she was, was riding in a separate ship, or so Leia had said — and Ben and Poe were currently playing sabaac on the Falcon. 

“You’re nervous,” Ben said. 

“Maybe a little. I mean, not for me, but...yeah, maybe it’s a little bit for me. I think I’m just wondering how much damage I’ve done.”

”You were a kid,” Ben said, earnestly. “You can’t blame yourself for being manipulated by adults who should know better.”

”I guess.” Then, “I shouldn’t have trusted them. That’s all.”

”It’s not like you knew their intentions,” Ben said. “Look, no matter what happens, I believe in you and I care about you.”

Poe smiled faintly. In that moment, he was grateful to Ben. More than anything. 

***

Poe would have been amazed to see Hosnia Prime in any other circumstances than this. The ivory structures, one having a balcony that looked like something out of a romantic opera...Poe could be grateful for seeing that sight in any other circumstance than this. 

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Leia said. She was leading the way, dressed in her finest blue dress, her hair in a braided bun. “Pity you have to see it on a day like this. Still, there’s some degree of good to be had from this, Poe. You get to tell them what really happened. There’s plenty of evidence that supports you.”

”What about Zorii?"

”The girl?” Leia said. “That...I suppose she’ll get an easier sentence. It sounds like she was groomed into such a position.” She shook her head. “I don’t like what she did to you, Poe, but in her own way, she’s also a victim.”

”She spared my life,” Poe said. “She could have killed me when I rejected her offer to join the Spice Runners. But she spared my life. She’s jaded. Conditioned to accept horror. But she’s not a monster.”

Ben frowned. Poe wondered, in that moment, if his protective streak was going too far.

***

There were members of the Spice Runners, members Poe hadn’t seen before, that jeered at him as he passed by. Weakling, they called him, in the marble halls of Hosnia Prime’s courtroom. Traitor. One tried to charge him, only for Ben to use his Force powers to freeze him.

Ben drew his lightsaber on the Spice Runners. “This man is under the protection of the Jedi Order,” he said. “Though you’re welcome to take me on. And Master Skywalker. It’ll be hilarious, at least.”

”You talk big for a stupid boy with a stupid laser sword,” one of the Spice Runners said.

”It’s a lightsaber, you utter dolt,” Ben snapped. “I’ll be happy to use it on you if you keep talking.”

”Ben,” Leia chastised. “Don’t start a fight in a courtroom." She glared at the Spice Runners. “And if you come after either of my boys, I’ll take it up with the judge. I’m sure she’ll be happy to beat you with her boot.”

That, at least, seemed to shut the Spice Runners up. Poe grinned at Leia; just because she was a petite woman didn’t mean she couldn’t be a terrifying mother mudhorn when she wanted to be. 

“Nicely done,” Poe said as they walked away. 

“They don’t mess with the former princess of Alderaan,” Leia said. “You hurt her boys, she’ll hurt you back.”

“Right on, sweetheart,” Han said. He’d come in, accompanied by Kes, Lu’lo, Qi’ra, Enfys...basically everyone. Poe was still amazed at how many members of Ben’s family there were. He had the biggest family in the galaxy, no doubt. 

"Dad!” Poe said to Kes. “You’re here.”

Kes smiled. “ ‘Course I am. I’m one of the witnesses, little bird." A beat. “I trust that no one gave you trouble?”

”They tried,” Poe said. “But I had Mother Mudhorn and her son on my side."

Lu’lo sighed good-naturedly. “Good thing they were there. Tell you what, if either the defense or the prosecution gives you hell, I’ll set them straight.”

They headed into the courtroom then. Poe observed Ben, stalking next to Poe like a nexu looking for its next enemy to threaten them all, and hoped he had strength for what lay ahead. 


End file.
